


The things I never said

by MichaelMell (GalacticTwink)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Trans dirk, Where Jake dies in the final stand, a letter he left behind, dealing with death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalacticTwink/pseuds/MichaelMell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their final stand, a letter is found in the departed Jake's possessions addressed for Dirk. Here is where he wrote all the things that he didn't have a chance to say in life, but that Dirk can still read after his death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The things I never said

~~My Love,~~   
~~I never got the chance to~~

~~Dirk,~~   
~~In case I don't get the chance to~~

Dear Dirk,   
    I'm preparing this letter in case I don't make it through this; our last battle and last stand against the powers standing against us. I never got to tell you.. No, that doesn't sound quite right. I've always wanted to tell you, yes that sounds far better. Right, now I've begun talking to myself.  
  Dirk, I always wanted to tell you that… Well, that I love you Strider. We didn't have the best circumstances to begin a relationship before, and I'll always regret not trying again with you. And, if someone has given this to you, it means that we can never get that chance and I'm sorry for that. I know that I wasn't strong enough to fight the way you, and the others do. I know that I was weak, and didn't contribute to the team. I hate that I couldn't even protect myself, and I'm sorry that you had to take care of me.  
  Even when we first began to chat, I really felt something for you. Like I could trust you with things; telling you about my grandmum, and when I got hurt sometimes out in the jungle. Though, I could never bear to tell you how severely I was hurt. It was to you that I trusted with my heart, and you took excellent care of it; Really, you did. You were the very first person for me to meet in person in a very long time, the first I touched.. Kissed. You were my first real experience, and you took me from the enclosed world I lived in before. I thank you for that. And I was yours. I know that you felt differently of being alone your whole life, and honestly it overwhelmed me a bit when you wanted to be near me and hold me simply because I've never experienced such affection before. I've learned so much since then Dirk, and I so wish we could've tried again. If only I wasn't so weak. I could've made it to the new world with you, and started again.   
  And Dirk, I know that you blame yourself for us not working out but it wasn't you at all. It was me, it was honestly me. Please don't blame yourself for my jerk reaction to being so overwhelmed. And, I know you blame yourself for a lot of things. But not everything rests on your shoulders alone, and not all blame can go to you. One man cannot be responsible for all things, please remember that. You're my big strong man Dirk, don't you forget it.   
  I knew. Dirk, I always knew. From the way you would slow down, and clutch at your chest when we ran for too long. And, you would always swim with a shirt on then change in a separate place. But Dirk, it doesn't matter to me. You're my Dirk, no matter what. Never forget that, love. Don't you ever forget that I loved you.  
                         With all my love,   
                                          Jake


End file.
